Well, September is almost over, the whether is becoming a bit cooler. The house has some fall color. Football season is definitely underway. (Leinart is going to start on Sunday….. maybe….YES!) We are into the school year….parent teacher conferences are not my favorite. It used to be we would go and hear how good our little angel was progressing. It’s not that simple anymore, nothing is simple any more I suppose, why should this be any different?
I always seem to think that Summer is my favorite time of year until Fall get’s here. Hmmm. I wonder why. Am I afraid to admit that I love Fall? I don’t think so. I think I like each season when it’s here. I like the freshness that the season bring, the promise of what’s going to be, the breeze of a new day, the hope of a new tomorrow. Wow, God is good.
It’s good Tea whether. I was reminded of this on my way to work this morning. I thought of my friend Traci. We’re buddies in everything. We’re “Tea Time” enthusiasts. I miss my friend. Life gets so busy. But in the fall we seem to come back together. Yet another promise of the season. Let’s get together …. Soon…. We’ll have tea and talk of everything….including the promise of what’s going to be.

Wow! What a weekend, filled to the brim. football games, soccer, band-stuff, Women's Ministry functions, surprise party for my friend, clean-up, set-up, take down....up, down, up, down. whew. Good thing I loved it all. Great game on Saturday both soccer and USC football. Glad to see that Michigan beat Notre Dame :-). It was nice to spend time with friends and celebrate Susie's birthday. It just seems like a lot going on right now and I'm trying not to feel overwhelmed, lots of list making. which makes one more thing to add to the list..... Ah well seasons of life I suppose. I think that I am heading home for the day. Actually, I have to bring the boys to the dentist... but that's not on my list. argh!!!

I was in Coffee Bean this morning for a treat and there she was, this beautiful little girl, of about 3, with a “foo-foo” in her hair and a “nummy” in her mouth, her Osh-kosh skirt, and in her pregnant mommy’s arms. Oh then it hit me….there it is again…. that feeling in the pit of my stomach…the tears are welling up…..and I’m just longing to hold onto her again. I was doing so well, wasn’t I? She is doing so well. She’s going to school, making friends, going to church, loving life. She’s even coming home this weekend, she misses her bed. While I am showing up at work and doing my job, I’m seeing my friends, worshiping an awesome God….. Loving life……. BUT…..I’m sad again. I’m longing for a different time. I loved when Tara was little, I did cherish that time, and I did look forward to the future. The future is here, at least that part of it planned out those years before. Ok, this too shall pass….sure did hit me hard.

I’ve been praying for another “feeling”, I know that it is part of God’s will. But it eludes me. Or do I? I seem to have filled my spirit with emptiness, when I should be filling it with God’s desire. I keep praying for His gift. I have the gift of life, of eternal life with my Savior. I have the gift of knowing that without a doubt. I know that He wants me to feel the rest, the yearning, the desire…..So I will wait….